This week, we’ve seen a great deal of support pouring out of our church family, extended family, and friends. There are no adequate words to express how much all of the prayers and well wishes mean to us. We are so incredibly thankful.
So frequently in this support, I’m being asked “Are you ok?” and “How are you handling this?” If I’m being honest, no, I’m not ok, but I’m working on it. And I am not handling this. Very, very shortly after finding out something was not right with Savannah’s heart, I told the Lord that He was going to have to handle this. I have no idea how to go through this. There is no manual on how to cope in this type of situation, no guidelines for what you should and shouldn’t do or say or think. So it’s not me that’s “handling” this, not at all. The good Lord has to do it for me, because I am not capable. Though I pray, countless times a day, for my sweet girl, this is no longer my fight. It’s not Ryan’s fight. It’s not even Savannah’s fight. This is the Lord’s battle, and there’s no one else I’d rather have on our side.
The great thing about sending Christ in to battle for you is that He’s a whole army. Pastor Chris talked in church this Sunday about the Church (the PEOPLE, not the building) being the Body of Christ. We, as the Body, are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We, as the Body, have the power and authority of Jesus at our fingertips. Knowing that so many of the Body are praying for Savannah and her health gives me a great sense of comfort. I am immensely thankful for each person that calls on the power of Christ to let Savannah’s heart be healed.
This verse was part of Sunday’s message:
“Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:4-5
Sweet Savannah is chosen in Christ, and she is perfect, without fault, in the eyes of the Lord, no matter her heart condition. She is already held close to Jesus. She is already on the Lord’s mind as He’s knitting her together, and He knows her already. Why would I NOT turn her battle over to Jesus? The ultimate authority and divine Healer knows far better than I do what is best for Savannah. Though it’s not always easy, I’m trusting Him to make the best decisions for her. While I pray, plead even, repeatedly for her heart to improve, for her to heal, I am trying to accept the fact that the Lord knows best. He has a purpose and a plan for Savannah, and He knows that plan already. He’ll put her together in the way He knows best, because He knows every single day of her life already.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
The other thing I’m trying to remember is to be whole-hearted in my faith through this. I can’t be scared to ask for complete healing, just because I am afraid I’m not going to get it. We often have not because we ask not, so I am still asking. And I do hope and pray daily that complete and total healing is in Christ’s plan. I’d ask that all of you pray for the same thing. Pray for strength and coping for Ryan and me, but above all, lift Savannah for complete and total healing in Christ. Nothing would thrill me more than for her to be born and for her cardiology team to say “This little girl’s heart is flawless.”